The decision whether a woman wants to have children or not is a confidential and a personal decision that should not be questioned by anyone. However, it’s one of those things that everyone feels empowered to offer their view or comment on. Most often people will take or view the idea of women not having children as absurd. Most people will assume and disguise it as infertility, hate for children or even the inability to get into a relationship. The major or most eminent instances are it doesn’t involve any of the above cases. It’s logical for women not to justify their reproductive decisions to anyone else. No one has the right of commenting on any one’s reproductive decisions.
5 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Women Who Don’t Want Children
It can be hurting to hear comments from others on your personal decision, considering that all of us are human beings who have feelings too. Therefore, be careful with any word you say to a woman who doesn’t have children because you may have no idea about the reason behind that. Here are some things you just can’t say to women who don’t want children.
1. “You will feel regretful after getting old.”
Have you invalidated someone’s decisions or someone’s opinions just because at the end they will have to regret? This is basically showing your disrespect to someone’s conscience and ability to decide on what they want with themselves.
Sometimes it may sound rude when someone tries to include age in such an argument because it automatically signifies their exclusive sexist belief. People need to understand that women could still be able to live such an amazing and productive life without worrying about hassles of children.
2. “You just have not met the right one yet.”
This is one statement that doesn’t make any sense at all since there are many couples who are maligned most times for trying to run into relationships blindly and having children as well before the right time. It’s important to understand that having children is a personal decision that should not be criticized by anyone.
Besides, underrating women is an outdated stereotype that tries to “ridicule” women as not knowing what is best for them or inability to make choices for themselves. Most people decide on how many kids they will have long before they get married and this is the same case with women who decide not to have kids since they thought about it long before, which has no matter with having met the right guy or not.
3. “You are just selfish by deciding not to have children.”
The tendency of believing that women should always prioritize having children is fairly firm among so many people in the society. But they do forget that it is at women’s own or individual expense to choose having children or not. Becoming a mum comes with a lot of responsibility and sacrifice. Having children may come with its own fair share of fulfillment and joy too; this is true and it is an honorable thing too. However, this does not mean that if a woman doesn’t have kids, she doesn’t deserve other things. Women should not be pushed into the idea of having children, and don’t need to feel shameful about having an amazing life just on their own.
4. “You are going to have a hell of time trying to find someone who wants to be with you.”
Whoever makes this comment is ridiculous. A woman will never be found undesirable just because she doesn’t want to have children. Believe it or not, there are guys who prefer women who don’t want children since they don’t need to go into an unnecessary stress of making a future plan.
Anyway, the significance of body or autonomy surpasses relationship. It is good to find somebody who has the same idea. If your partner tries to change your mind or blame you for not having babies, well, you can move on and find someone else. Furthermore, not having children can grant both of you more time that you can spend together which will firm up your relationship.
5. “Who will give me grand children?”
So far, this is the most embarrassing question to react to since making decisions and evaluating how they will impact the future only depends on the women themselves. Parents may have many expectations for their children even though they are already an adult, and having children is just one of the major expectations for their girls. But it’s worth remembering that a woman is not responsible in any case when it comes to fulfillment of her parents desires. Those parents who are longing for grand children can focus on other children who love to have babies instead of keeping pushing the one who just doesn’t want any child.
Understand Why They Don’t Want Children
It’s not good to criticize women who do not want children. Instead, one should take into account why they are making that decision and also understand that there could be very important underlying issues that could have been the cause for that.
1. Obsessed with Career
In the society, women have come a long way to obtain equal rights to men. Some women may find starting a family a burden or an added responsibility that they could not handle on their own simultaneously with their careers. Sometimes it could be hard to raise a kid while working busy, and it may even end up with quitting the job to concentrate on raising the child.
2. Fear All the “What Ifs”
Of course this is very crucial to women. The questions may be endless like what if I have troubles in delivery? What if I get any complication? What if I have to choose between my life and my child’s? And many more “what ifs” result in women’s fear to have a child.
3. Not Ready
Getting or having babies is associated with an added responsibility as well as financial stress. It even impacts women emotionally and due to this, they may be reluctant to just start a family or have children.
4. Can’t See Themselves as a Mum
Becoming a mother is a reality which some women may find difficult to take in considering that you have to change diapers every day and all the other tasks. For some women, the thought of becoming a mother can be sealed right there when thinking about this.
5. Don’t Want to Lose the Center of Attention
Universally, women mostly will want to take all the attention and will love it when men compliment them and show them love. However, things may not be the same after the baby arrives and she may not get the same attention as before.
6. Just Don’t Like Children
Baby cries a lot and need so much attention to meet their needs and keep them at ease. Due to this fact, women may develop negative feeling towards getting babies. It’s important that husbands try to understand these feelings in their wives.
7. Have Poor Health Condition
Some women may have a certain genetic condition that they may not want to be inherited by their children. There could also be other reasons such as health conditions which may not allow someone to have a baby. In this case, they are not only irresponsible for this, but moreover, their partner and family should give her more love and support on this issue.