Kids have a very short attention span and they usually ignore what have been told to them, especially if it is not in accordance with their wishes. Such behavior of children sometimes seems insulting to parents and can lead to a heated argument. But such conflict does a lot of harm because the manner in which parents speak to their children will impact on children’s respond to them. Here are a few tried and tested methods which can help you in making your kids listen to what you have said.
How to Get Kids to Listen
1. Catch Kid’s Attention Before You Talk
Parents usually make the mistake of shouting out whenever they want to let their children come out from another room and think that the child would respond. However, this would never get your desired response from the kid. A better approach is to make sure that you have the kid’s attention before you say anything.
For this purpose, you should go to where your child is first and connect with him by flicking his hair or touching his armlightly. If the kid still doesn’t acknowledge you, observing his activity and making an encouraging comment would usually get his attention. It’s important to have eye-contact with the child when you start talking.
2. Get Down to Your Kid’s Level
Whenever you address your child for anything serious like a question regarding the child’s mischievous behavior or his angry spat with a sibling, it’s important that you look the child in the eye and ensure that he can look into your eyes as well. So, you should sit on your knees to bring yourself down to the kid’s level or pick him up to get the child to your level. Whatever you do, make sure that the child looks at you and doesn’t consistently move his head sideways to avoid eye contact which is a very important communication skill.
3. Talk with Kid in Simple and Understandable Words
Children don’t have the vocabulary that you have as an adult and it’s important to talk to them in the language that they can comprehend. Children won’t often tell you bluntly that they are not getting what you are saying and would meekly say “yes” if you will ask them if they got the meaning. Whenever your child doesn’t seem confident while answering this question, ask him to explain the meaning of the word you introduced. If he explains it incorrectly, patiently explain the point which the child didn’t pick up.
4. Don’t Be Emotional
Children don’t react to emotionally charged sermons well. They usually get distracted, run away or throw a tantrum when parents get emotional. This isn’t the end-result that you would want in any case and so, it’s best to keep your emotions in check at all times. For instance, if your kids don’t prepare for a party on time, rather than giving a sermon on why they should have prepared, you’d better help the children with their preparation and then tell them what should have been done to ensure they will be well-prepared on time next time.
5. Avoid Repeating
Repetition of commands and instructions would only frustrate you and give you a sore throat. Rather than repeating the instructions, it’s best to let the child know that if he doesn’t follow your instruction after you have repeated it once, he will face some consequences.
For instance, if you instruct the child to pick up his toys from the dinner table while he is watching cartoons, tell him that you will not let him watch the TV again if he doesn’t pick up the things in three minutes. You can give an extra incentive like you will allow him to use the iPad for half an hour before going to bed, only if he does as what you say.
6. Make Negative and PositiveConsequences
When it comes to telling your child a negative consequence that he will have to deal with in case he doesn’t follow your instructions, it’s important that the consequence is such that would make the child uncomfortable. Observe what he does the most and what he enjoys the most and then threaten to temporarily take it away from him. However, it’s also important to reward your child if he follows your instructions. When deciding the positive consequences, think about what your kids want most and then promise it to him as reward for good behavior. Such method would inspire him to behave appropriately and listen to everything you say.
7. Listen to Them Patiently
You have to be a good listener if you want your children to listen to you. And it does not only mean you should listen what they tell you verbally, you should also check their non-verbal signals to understand what they want to communicate with you. Whenever your child tells you that he is uncomfortable during any activity through his oral or bodylanguage, make sure that you don’t push him away. In case you miss out on his signals and the child reacts by throwing a tantrum, it’s best to respond kindly and apologize for not understanding the child’s emotions rather than reacting angrily.
8. Say More “Yes” Than “No”
You would obviously feel very frustrated and annoyed at a person if he continues to refuse you and thwart your favorite activities consistently throughout the day. Children feel the same if parents refuse most of their requests. An outright “no” is always frustrating for the child and therefore, a better approach is to reach a compromise that you can erase the aspect which is not acceptable to you. For instance, if your child wants a gadget which is too expensive, rather than saying a stern “no”, you should tell the child that you will have it on your wish list and save money to buy it.
9. Some More Tips
- ?Request sensibly
Ask yourself whether there are any ways you can be more flexible while putting up the request.
- ?Remind kindly
If your child doesn’t listen to you in your first attempt, don’t get upset or angry. A kind reminder of the same instruction usually works better.
- ?Make rules that rhyme
Rhyming rules are easy to remember for kids. Make sure that they repeat the rules after you.
- ?Make a game out of it
If you turn your requests into a game, the child would usually respond positively.
The video tells more information about discipline kids who don’t listen: